Archive for July, 2007
One of the most important parts in a relationship, is to let your partner be whoever she / he wants with you. Men know that they are “supposed to be” strong and carry the weight of all the problems on their shoulders, while women know they are “supposed to be” nice and feminine and maintain a certain image in their partner’s eyes. These social barriers often damage the love relationship as our partner, be it a girl or a guy, are unable to relax in our company, and this has to be avoided. Your parter should know that in YOUR company, he or she could be whatever.
Like my favorite psychologist, Dale Cornegie said, “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bustling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.” — and we should not forget that. Don’t let logic dominate in your relationship, and even if you are driven by logic and common sense most of the time, you have to remember that your partner, even if he is doing the same, has a lot of emotions under the mask of “logical decisions”, and these emotions need to break though sometimes.
Do not chain your partner in his / her own social obligations and manners, when you are alone, allow him to be whatever and whoever he wants with you, and he will appreciate and value our company more than anything else. If he can himself in your company (without having to play any role, and won’t be laughed at or demoralized), he will always prefer spending his time with you. Wouldn’t it be great?
As most of us know, the 50’s vintage style is in big demand and all these posters, which 50 years ago no one would even consider hanging on the wall - are now sold for crazy prices.
So what if you decide to purchase one of these collection items, out-of-print vintage cookbooks, which are no longer sold in book stores? In this case, OldCookbooks.com could be of help. This website offers a huge collection of vintage rare cook books, sorted by categories. They offer books which you won’t find anywhere else anymore, all of them are currently out-of-print and will not be republished anymore, so in some way, you get a collection item for more than a reasonable price. For those of you who want to keep up with the events, Old Cookbooks also has a blog, which you might be interested in reading if cooking and art vintage interests you. This website, I must say, it the ultimate place for women!
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The famous Pina Colada cocktail, which you also can buy as a liquor is pretty easy to prepare at home. In my opinion, the liquor are better, and often turns to be more tasty, but if you decide to surprise your partner with a home made drink just for two of you, this is what you are going to need…
Put some ice floes in a glass and add:
8 cl of Pineapple juice.
4 cl of sweetened coconut milk.
4 cl of white rum.
mix well, preferably with a shaker or regular kitchen mixer (this will add some gentle foam to the drink, just like whipped cream, and serve chilled. Enjoy!
Most men love play pool, somehow this is just the classical game for men of all ages, we are used to see guys crowding around pool tables in a pub and most women even complain that their husbands spend too much time hanging out with their friends, playing pool. Instead of trying to influence your husband not to go and play with his friends, why not to bring the party to your house? What can be better than buying a Billiard table, so that the whole family can play, practice and invite friends over to join the fun? Today the variety of pool tables available n the market is huge, you can practically choose any design, size and style of table, depending on your needs and budget.
Billiard (snooker) is one of my favorite games and if you’ll ever try it, you will be addicted just like all the pool lovers!
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Somehow, the red wine is considered to be the most “romantic” drink, especially the classical Château Margaux brand of French red wines. But, did you ever think why? Is it because it’s red?
Personally I am not a big fan of dry red wines, I don’t find them to be any tasty, let alone romantic, but somehow we can’t imagine a lover’s table without a bottle of red wine. I only drink sweet red wines, and think they go alone just perfect with delicious creamy deserts, it’s the ultimate loves dishes - whipped cream, fresh berries, red sweet wine and candles. Yummi!
Why is black fit small dress is considered to be a classical cocktail dress, ideal for a first date? In my opinion, based on personal experience and knowledge, men love women in pink. At least most of them. I am not talking about parody creatures like Pamela Anderson in her fluffy pink baby doll, but rather about normal real life women who wear little make up and wear funky pink clothes. It makes men think the girl is feminine and fragile (which is often misleading!), and consequently, men feel more masculine near such women, which flatters their ego, raises their self-esteem and awakes their manly feelings.
Its important to make the man feel like a man in your presence and the good thing is - it’s fully in your power. Unless we are talking about submissive type of men, who would prefer women with heavy make-up, dark (”vamp” style) clothes and outfit (aka “dominant” look) - men in general would choose fragile women who make them feel more “important” in their company and won’t depress their self esteem, self value and self worth. Good thing is, we - women, can do it so easily!
Some time ago I have already made a post on this blog explaining why weekends should be special and different from the daily life routine, so I thought I’d expand and give you one nice idea - how about an Oxford stag party?
Hen weekends are becoming more and more popular today, especially in the UK, but not everyone knows how and where to find the exciting activities, which you would normally think are unavailable. There is nothing better than to break from a daily routine - life at a city could be so tiresome and can make us crazy, which is why we need we need to take a break occasionally and spoil ourselves with a nice hen weekend. If live in the UK, I’d recommend my friends at Red Seven, because they have been arranging this sort of activities for about 10 years now and sure have a good experience of planning superb weekends for anyone.
While talking with my “real-life” and online friends about this subject, I was amazed to discover that many people have never given their partner a massage, nor received one. You have no idea what are you missing here!
First of all, from the medical point of view, massage is essential for simulating the blood circulation and improving lymphatic drainage for release of toxins. This is why natural sea wool (”tough”) shower sponges (or the ’saki’, Japanese massage sponges) are more recommended than the regular soft ones. This means if you did not enjoy the massage procedure as much as you maybe were hoping to, your body will benefit from it anyway.
Secondly, it is relaxing, and that’s also a fact. Massaging the shoulders and the back muscles releases the tension and refreshes you delightfully, however, unlike the Saki sponge in the shower, we can never do it properly to ourselves with the shoulders and back area, which is why we need to find a partner in life! 
Okay, now we know there is no harm it in whatsoever, only benefit, so why not to try? If it’s your first time ever, especially after been with a partner for a long time, I’d not recommend to ask your partner to give you a massage all of a sudden, better start by saying you want to massage his back. This is also better due to the fact that he might have a clue how to give a massage and this request can needlessly embarrass him, so give him the chance to learn from you first. He might be surprised or hesitate or even resist (which could be just because he is unwilling to step into unknown territory of activities), but you should insist anyway.
Make sure he is laying comfortably on his belly, so now you have to option - regular massage, or massage with a cream or oils. The problem with cream and oils could be that some men don’t always love cosmetic smells, strong ones in particular, and others just don’t like feeling greasy textures on their skin, so I’d not start off with them.
Start slow and gentle, without rush. Massage only achieves the goal of being pleasant and relaxing when it lasts for some time. There are thousands of massage tactics, though I always suggest to be guided by your instincts and do it the way you know your partner and think will please him. One rule of thumb, however, is not to overdo same motions for long period of time. For instance, it’s better to do motion A for 10 seconds, then motion B for 10 seconds and then motion A for 10 seconds again, rather than Motion A for 20 seconds. Combine different touching tactics, with various parts of your palm, applying different pressure, but don’t repeat the same motion for too long (unless you see it excites him, of course), otherwise it could becoming annoying.
If you do want the massage to “lead” to some other activity eventually, don’t concentrate only on the relaxation points of his back and shoulders, but also combine them with more spicy actions such as lightly running with your nails from his shoulders down to his spine or bending forward to massage his shoulders and let the bear upper part of your body touch his back, or simply occasionally bend forward to kiss hiss back, and kiss a several times heading lower and lower, then stop and continue patting his back. The varieties are really endless.
If you will manage to introduce him effectively to the body massage, and practice is occasionally, I can assure you this will add an extra dimension to your intimate life as well as bring you closer. Massage is not only a great foreplay FOR the foreplay but also a great way to dedicate time to each other and learn more about your partner’s body by caressing him allover and discovering his sensitive spots.
Your parter will probably suggest to give you kneading as well some time soon, assuming he enjoyed it, but if he won’t suggest it — does not mean he did not like the idea or does not want to give you pleasure as well. As I said, if your man don’t like to step on unknown territory, he would rather pass on it, than exhibit his lack of experience. Don’t judge by his shyness, and learn to explore his sensuality and help him to develop confidence in his actions. Every man is sensual deep inside, its up to his girlfriend / wife weather she will bring it to the surface and enjoy it together with him, or depress his every action.
What not to do? I personally am against any “don’t s” in bedroom, as long as both partners are okay with it, but let’s say I’d not recommend chatting away during this process, at least not a chat that will require much response from his side. Let him close his eyes and concentrate on his feelings and your hands, rather than on the conversation, so it’s better not to spoil the uniqueness of the atmosphere. Let him drift away in pleasure, without any disturbances.
Another thing I’d not suggest to do on the first massage session is to employ miscellaneous massage toys. Main reason is that you don’t really need them to provide a quality massage, believe me, your partner will always prefer the touch of your loving fingertips over a mechanic motion of some machine, accompanied by an annoying noise. Second reason is that like any intimate life accessories, it might scare your partner. Most men are open-minded (thankfully!) and would welcome anything new as long as it would spice up your activities, but unfortunately some men are shy and hesitant, so attacking them with new toys of any kind, be it a BDSM outfit, furry handcuffs or a simple back massager could archive an opposite effect - they will think it’s weird before they even tried, and worst of all - might think YOU are weird. Take it slow, don’t scare him with any accessories or/and your previous experience with them.
If everything went smooth and you both enjoyed it and started to practice it from time to time, with time you will need to add some zest to the process to avoid the it turning to a boring routine.
How to add some flavor to the massage? There are really countless options, about which you can learn either online from some lifestyle sites or from books which specialize in providing a comprehensive guide to caressing your partner in the best possible way. Some basic ideas: massaging the legs and the feet, adding body lotions and / or massage oils, massaging using some (non-massage specialized) tease-toys e.g. feathers, rollers, or whatever comes to mind. I will expand more about it in next post on this subject, which will focus on the more sensual side of the kneading.
People who look for love online must have a hard time picking the right dating community to join to. Each site has its unique features, and today I am going to introduce you to KissCafe.com - Free Online Dating site, with loads of funky features.
So what advantages Kiss Cafe has over other dating websites? First of all, the site is available in English, French and Chinese, moreover, the same website is available in 25 countries, in local language for people who are looking for a match more locally. Also, they use audio and visual technology to bring the video messenger feature instantly to the members, so you need not add anyone to your MSN or Yahoo, you can chat with mic and cam right from the first second, if you like.. Evidently, dating online could be face to face! You can upload photos, get your own blog inside the website, attached to you profile, and let others know about what you do think or plan. Read the rest of this entry »
It may sound simple, upload a recent photo of your face, write a few lines about your character and wait until someone will be charmed…
Well, not if this is really important to you. If you are after finding a long-term relationship online, you need to take the profile writing task seriously and spend a lot of time on it, make sure it’s accurate and well-written. So how do you start?
- When writing your own profile, think and concentrate on what you are looking for in a partner, rather than just describing yourself. For instance, if you can’t stand cigarettes smoke, mention you will only date non-smokers. Being specific means less responses, less unpleasant moment rejecting, but more good matches. Moreover, it will make you look more like a picky human,not just a desperate date seeker.
- Sort out a decent photo. It’s a known fact that profiles with (interesting) photos are getting 8 times more responses. Again, don’t think how would you best present yourself, put yourself in the stranger’s place. Say, you have amazing legs and you look best on the image where you wear your red mini skirt. Of course people who know you won’t misjudge you, but what would someone, who sees your profile for the first time, think? Will he take you seriously? Will he get the right impression? Only use photos that will make the impression, which you want to make.
- Okay, do you want to make a really positive impact? Ask someone to correct your grammar and run a spell check, once you finished writing everything down. Whatever you are looking for, it’s always better to appear intelligent and educated.
- Don’t exaggeration anything. People easily spot when something is too good to be true or too bad to be true. Trying to impress by presenting facts in a slightly distorted manner will maybe bring you temporary more replies, but won’t leave you with many potentially good matches in the long run. Honesty is hard to find now-a-days, many people who would sense it in your profile, will value it much more than your doubtfully exaggerated good traits.
- Lastly, describe your hobbies, values and most important - goals. Goals in life are very important, if they match, you can start working on them together, and if they conflict, you might be unable to build anything together. I’d suggest not to just make a top 10 list of your values, top ten list of your goals and so on. Your profile is one’s first insight into your world, it should be vivid, with a spark, with sense of humour, and of course - it has to be interactive. Stating that you are a “Caring, affectionate and loving man / woman who seeks a partner will similar qualities for serious relationship” will never ever be remembered nor get much attention. The best example I can think of is my ex-boyfriend, with who we recently spend some time in an online dating community, who says in his profile “I have a mild disposition, like a sleeping crocodile”. That’s what I call introduction with zest! Use metaphors, experiment with not commonly used words, and add some sense of humour to spice up the first step one takes into your world.
After you have finished writing everything down, save it as a draft and come back to look at your profile the next day, when you are fresh. Does it present you in the best possible way? Does it have a good smooth flow, or are these just random chaotic facts about you that won’t tell much about your writing skills? Do you maybe have something you better remove?
Having said that, I must add that after almost a year of membership in one of the online dating sites, where my profile was displayed with no picture and the first page clearly said not to contact me, yet people still did every time I was online, I should think that all of the above only applies to men, because women can only indicate the gender and wait for responses.