This entry was posted on Friday, July 27th, 2007 at 9:01 pm and is filed under Harmony, Lifestyles, Women's Zone. If you like this post, please subscribe to our RSS Feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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July 27, 2007
While talking with my “real-life” and online friends about this subject, I was amazed to discover that many people have never given their partner a massage, nor received one. You have no idea what are you missing here!
First of all, from the medical point of view, massage is essential for simulating the blood circulation and improving lymphatic drainage for release of toxins. This is why natural sea wool (”tough”) shower sponges (or the ’saki’, Japanese massage sponges) are more recommended than the regular soft ones. This means if you did not enjoy the massage procedure as much as you maybe were hoping to, your body will benefit from it anyway.
Secondly, it is relaxing, and that’s also a fact. Massaging the shoulders and the back muscles releases the tension and refreshes you delightfully, however, unlike the Saki sponge in the shower, we can never do it properly to ourselves with the shoulders and back area, which is why we need to find a partner in life! 
Okay, now we know there is no harm it in whatsoever, only benefit, so why not to try? If it’s your first time ever, especially after been with a partner for a long time, I’d not recommend to ask your partner to give you a massage all of a sudden, better start by saying you want to massage his back. This is also better due to the fact that he might have a clue how to give a massage and this request can needlessly embarrass him, so give him the chance to learn from you first. He might be surprised or hesitate or even resist (which could be just because he is unwilling to step into unknown territory of activities), but you should insist anyway.
Make sure he is laying comfortably on his belly, so now you have to option - regular massage, or massage with a cream or oils. The problem with cream and oils could be that some men don’t always love cosmetic smells, strong ones in particular, and others just don’t like feeling greasy textures on their skin, so I’d not start off with them.
Start slow and gentle, without rush. Massage only achieves the goal of being pleasant and relaxing when it lasts for some time. There are thousands of massage tactics, though I always suggest to be guided by your instincts and do it the way you know your partner and think will please him. One rule of thumb, however, is not to overdo same motions for long period of time. For instance, it’s better to do motion A for 10 seconds, then motion B for 10 seconds and then motion A for 10 seconds again, rather than Motion A for 20 seconds. Combine different touching tactics, with various parts of your palm, applying different pressure, but don’t repeat the same motion for too long (unless you see it excites him, of course), otherwise it could becoming annoying.
If you do want the massage to “lead” to some other activity eventually, don’t concentrate only on the relaxation points of his back and shoulders, but also combine them with more spicy actions such as lightly running with your nails from his shoulders down to his spine or bending forward to massage his shoulders and let the bear upper part of your body touch his back, or simply occasionally bend forward to kiss hiss back, and kiss a several times heading lower and lower, then stop and continue patting his back. The varieties are really endless.
If you will manage to introduce him effectively to the body massage, and practice is occasionally, I can assure you this will add an extra dimension to your intimate life as well as bring you closer. Massage is not only a great foreplay FOR the foreplay but also a great way to dedicate time to each other and learn more about your partner’s body by caressing him allover and discovering his sensitive spots.
Your parter will probably suggest to give you kneading as well some time soon, assuming he enjoyed it, but if he won’t suggest it — does not mean he did not like the idea or does not want to give you pleasure as well. As I said, if your man don’t like to step on unknown territory, he would rather pass on it, than exhibit his lack of experience. Don’t judge by his shyness, and learn to explore his sensuality and help him to develop confidence in his actions. Every man is sensual deep inside, its up to his girlfriend / wife weather she will bring it to the surface and enjoy it together with him, or depress his every action.
What not to do? I personally am against any “don’t s” in bedroom, as long as both partners are okay with it, but let’s say I’d not recommend chatting away during this process, at least not a chat that will require much response from his side. Let him close his eyes and concentrate on his feelings and your hands, rather than on the conversation, so it’s better not to spoil the uniqueness of the atmosphere. Let him drift away in pleasure, without any disturbances.
Another thing I’d not suggest to do on the first massage session is to employ miscellaneous massage toys. Main reason is that you don’t really need them to provide a quality massage, believe me, your partner will always prefer the touch of your loving fingertips over a mechanic motion of some machine, accompanied by an annoying noise. Second reason is that like any intimate life accessories, it might scare your partner. Most men are open-minded (thankfully!) and would welcome anything new as long as it would spice up your activities, but unfortunately some men are shy and hesitant, so attacking them with new toys of any kind, be it a BDSM outfit, furry handcuffs or a simple back massager could archive an opposite effect - they will think it’s weird before they even tried, and worst of all - might think YOU are weird. Take it slow, don’t scare him with any accessories or/and your previous experience with them.
If everything went smooth and you both enjoyed it and started to practice it from time to time, with time you will need to add some zest to the process to avoid the it turning to a boring routine.
How to add some flavor to the massage? There are really countless options, about which you can learn either online from some lifestyle sites or from books which specialize in providing a comprehensive guide to caressing your partner in the best possible way. Some basic ideas: massaging the legs and the feet, adding body lotions and / or massage oils, massaging using some (non-massage specialized) tease-toys e.g. feathers, rollers, or whatever comes to mind. I will expand more about it in next post on this subject, which will focus on the more sensual side of the kneading.
December 6th, 2007 at 3:14 am
[...] all know the famous back massage, it can be done with oils or implementing various techniques but why not to try and take it to the highest level of pleasure? Make sure your partner is laying [...]