This entry was posted on Thursday, August 2nd, 2007 at 12:31 am and is filed under Harmony, Men's Zone, Mind Games, Online Dating, Women's Zone. If you like this post, please subscribe to our RSS Feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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August 2, 2007
When it comes to dating and relationship, it’s very important to get to a point where you like your own life, enjoy it and its direction — before you start trying to include someone else in it.
Two of the biggest things people find attractive in potential partners are self-confidence and self-assuredness, both of which are the result of independent, enjoyable life. If you seek a partner only because of being lonely, then the fact that you’re lonely will make you come across in your partner’s eyes as desperate, and lower the ease with which you can get into a relationship as well as (maybe) the quality of the people you’ll be able to attract.
“Desperate” people (they don’t have to really be desperate, but as long as they appear to be “desperate”), may appeal to our pity, or on the contrary — to our sadistic nerve, but they will never make us respect them and highly value them.
If your social needs aren’t being met at the moment, then the best thing you can do it start working on achieving your basic (social) goals, so that you enjoy and benefit from full life, filled with goals you believe in, before taking the step of including someone else in your life route.
If you often ask yourself “What is he thinking of me?” or “What could I say?” or “How can I impress him/her more?” rather than “Wow, I am curious why he’s interested in this” or “I enjoy this chat so much” or even “This restaurant serves the best food!” — then you’re probably sinking in insecurity instead of actually enjoying yourself. You might hope your partner will not notice it, but anyone with at least 1-2 relationship behind his or her shoulders will easily spot hesitation, insecurity and fears that run across one’s heart. Such fears never attract anyone, let alone awake feelings of admiration and esteem, and it’s you who have to decide — do you want someone to stay with you out of compassion, or maybe achieving your goals first, reaching the level where you enjoy life and can share this joy is a better idea..?
And, if you think you are unhappy only because you have no love in your life, as harsh as it may sound — no, it’s not the reason. If your life is a satisfactory, you will enjoy it with or without a lover partner, or with this partner as well as with another. The joy of life comes from ourselves, it should, as depending your happiness and cheer on someone else could be… Dangerous. 
September 4th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
I never had a partner and I do feel lonely, I’m 22. I will remember your tips when I meet my first partner.
May 4th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
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