Archive for August, 2007
Friends are essential. We all want to have many of them, but some of us are shy so how to overcome this?
1). Be an honest, dependable and reliable person. Not divulging too much about yourself or other people around you is very important.
2). Be surprised, you can also win friends online using social media sites or chat rooms.
Making friends is not an easy task, not to mention they do not become our real friends over night; this process can take up days, weeks and even month. As long as you keep trying, lead a rich social life and maintain an active life — you will always be meeting new people and making new friends!
3). Do something yourself first! Don’t stay in waiting for new friends to suddenly appear. Socialize, talk, initiate conversations.
4). Even though it is easier said than done, try not to be shy when you meet new people.
5). Like-minded people often become good friends. If you have always wanted to do or try something different, say — take up a new activity, this could be the ideal time to try yourself out with something new and make friends along the way.
It seems so tempting, to move in with the person you love, share everything, see each other anytime you like, and participate in each other’s routine on a daily basis. Sounds like a dream when you are in love?
Thanks is only because you are in love.
If you are slightly more down-to-earth, you will realize that moving in with the partner you love will automatically result in:
- Power Consumption
- Loss of Privacy and Private space
- Extra Cleaning (more of women’s concerns)
- Extra expenses (more of men’s concerns)
First of all, when you move to live together, “partners” or “lovers” will be just a word, someone has to be the head of the house. Who? And, would you agree on the position? Would you enjoy suddenly being ordered around in your own house, or will you enjoy having to carry the weight of responsibility for everything?
Secondly, your private space will disappear before you know it. All a sudden everything is shared and you cannot be certain weather or not a particular drawer will be opened and explored, so either get yourself a locker (very romantic, for a start) or just accept the fact that your privacy no longer belongs to you. Very annoying, by the way.
Thirdly, both men and women have their concerns. Girls understand that having a man in the house would mean a lot of extra mess (and don’t kid yourself, it WILL be a lot of extra mess, dishes, socks, and god-knows-what). Men on the other hand, know that landing an extra person would double the expenses. Unless you are both students who hardly manage to meet the ends, it won’t be very romantic nor convenient for a guy to ask his dearly beloved girlfriend to share the water bill, because.. “oh well, she uses it too, right?”.
Basically, you have to be very much on love, or very much open-minded if you decide to move together and hope this “move” won’t kill each others feelings. Because having someone you don’t 100% love under your very nose all the time is deadly annoying.
In a relationship, we may have 2 different types of partners — supportive, or challenging.
Supportive partners are the kind of those with who we can relax, be ourselves and still be accepted, loved and cared for. We don’t need to have a super sexy figure to be wanted, we don’t need to have extra qualities to beat the competition with others and most of all, we will always find the needed support from our partner’s side, regardless what we do, say or plan.
Challenging partners are there to torture us. Nothing is taken for granted and has to be “earned”. If you don’t have a perfect body you are likely to be replaced, if you don’t do certain things - you might end up in a trash can and, of course, if you do something wrong – meet your fate! So called “challenging partners” ceaselessly inspire us to be a better person, to achieve more, to climb higher, to outdo others and most of all - ourselves. We have to conquer the world in order to win our our partner’s love and esteem.
Sounds awful, are these the only options?
Sorry, but yes. However, most people are not so extreme; they won’t support blindly nor challenge blindly. In a good and established relationship you will mostly end up with a “supportive” partner who will accept most of your actions and support you in everything you do, rather than b**ch you and… oh well, “aspire you to be a better person” : -)
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If you have any trouble choosing the right car yourself, extreme experiences has a friendly team who will be glad to assist you. So, happy racing!
Despite being a psychologist, most of what I learn in life came through personal experience, and not through books and movies. When a certain situation takes place, I can analyze it with all the professional knowledge I accumulated, and learn from it.
The biggest share of all my knowledge came through my ex-boyfriend, to who I often refer as “The Master of my Dreams”. We had a long relationship and his very extensive understanding in psychology and psychiatry, together with loads of experience and some age advantage allowed him to practically enslave anyone emotionally. At that time it seemed natural to me, but looking back I assume he just knew what to do and how.
One of the most important things he “tought” me, was – there is no failure in relationship. He gave me a very confident feeling that I can’t fail him, disappoint him or displease him, and this confidence strengthened our relationship. Nothing can be better then when you can be yourself, knowing that no matter what crime you commit, HIS (her) love you won’t ever lose. This “method”, however, has a disadvantage for the other side:
- Of course your parter CAN disappoint you. Yes, he or she can, and probably will, if you are together for sometime.
Getting you bitter pill at some point is really unpreventable here. Two people from different families, with different past experiences and backgrounds trying to “match” their lives together… You both will cast each other down sometimes, these could be big or small failures, not living up to the expectations or anything else in between. But… It’s natural.
- So, does it mean I have to swallow everything and just move on?
No, of course not. By all means, let your parter know that you did not like what he did or on the other hand, did not do. If the disappointment was too deep, just leave this partner and seek another one, if, however, you love him / her and willing to accept it in order not to lose his or her love — be patient. Your sweetheart failed you, — make it clear to him what was wrong and more important what should or should not he do next time in order not to disappoint in the future. If your partner loves you and cares for you, he won’t do it again. Playing a poo-face for the rest of the century, or reminding him about it in every upcoming fight for the next millennium is wrong! Just put yourself in his place, what would change if you demoralize him over and over again about small mishap 5 years ago? He can’t re-write the history, he can only but learn the lesson and try to avoid it in the future.
Let your partner know that his or her mistakes can easily be fixed. This would give your lover a great deal of confidence and confidence leads to comfort and harmony in a relationship. You cannot achieve harmony if you have to be on your toes all the time, making sure you are “good enough”, especially if you occasionally get a reminded about how “bad” you were.
- Don’t forget to use your Joker any time.
Patience also gives you a big advantage here, sort of joker you can pull from your sleeve any time YOU disappointed your partner, and some day, at some situation, you might. If you have been a good and loving partner who let everything slide and is never angry for more than 10 minutes, never raises fuss around any displeasing subject, surely when something turns against YOU, you can demand an equal treat. You can easily put your partner back in his or her place if s/he unleashes his /her bitterness on you.
Why would this create a “desired slavery”?
Let’s face it, most women do raise a fuss about everything, they yell, get angry and remind their husbands about mistakes he made 20 years ago. And, let’s face it, most men don’t even know what patience is, and demoralize their girlfriends when something goes wrong. When you are in a relationship with someone who provides you with “100% No Failure Policy”, you feel welcomed, beloved, emotionally secure, and you won’t leave such a relationship, knowing that you won’t find such a treat anywhere else. And honestly, it’s really rare to find…
When people think of BDSM, they normally split into 3 categories. First category of people storms out and crawls in their skin from a mere thought of all these ‘’sick perverts” who do weird things to each other instead of enjoying. Second category of people has neutral feelings towards the minorities in our society. They are aware of the fact that there are gays, lesbians, sadomasochists and other groups of cultures and people who are just there, though it’s important to stay away from them. Third category of people finds it… exciting. Be surprised, many do, but of course not everyone would tell you about it, because they don’t want to look like perverts or “weird”, especially in their partner’s eyes, let alone be dumped for this reason. Read the rest of this entry »
For those of you who think that BDSM role-playing games mean a pervert all dressed up in leather clothes and torturing someone else to death – it’s not like that at all. In fact, if we take all the people who practice BDSM, only small percent of such people are actually really perverted, in the clinical term of this word. When I say ‘perverted’, I mean they cannot enjoy at all unless they cause sever pain or receive sever pain from their partner. Read the rest of this entry »
This is not really “positions tutorial” as the title promised you. It’s just a very fun video you will find to be highly amusing. Most of all, the last position she demonstrate made me smile — “if your husband does not want to see your face or if you are a chatter box…” Read the rest of this entry »
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Well, it has been a busy week, some negative and some positive emotions. Some online, some real life, button line is that it’s been quite eventful.
Among the positive things:
- I have spent a great Friday evening (detailed spared).
- I have launched the Top Tut Directory which has outdone my every expectation on the first day.
- The mentioned above directory has brought more (revenue generated through Adsense) in one day than my Smileys Kit and Art Exhibit sites generated together since the beginning of August.
- I got a nice offer I had to decline due to busy schelude.
Among what we would class as negative:
- Got one more infraction point at Digital Point Forum, which is my 5th red card and it means I am 50% banned!
- PageRank still has no updated, so the suspense is killing me.
- I got a nice offer I had to decline due to busy schelude.
This is the week, not highly exciting. Of course I try not to go into great details of offline life, but still and all, it was a good week.