This entry was posted on Thursday, September 13th, 2007 at 2:52 am and is filed under Love & Art, Uncategorized. If you like this post, please subscribe to our RSS Feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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September 13, 2007
This is one of the most recent artwork I have created, and decided to share a bit of my creativity as well as its the background on this blog. After all, who else will I share it with, if not the online visitors who’s faces I’d never see? So tell me, does the women look natural? She was constructed from 4 different images (took over an hour as all legs and feet are from different sources), since I couldn’t find any good and free stock-photo of a girl falling down the cliff :D.
Please Click to Full View
Before I begin, I’d like to give credits and thank fellow artists from Deviant Art for incredible stock images — (pieces of) model Amber, photographed by Marcus Ranum, sea photo by Ana Fagarazzi, grunge brushes effect from Dark Rose 42, and finally — leitmotif, the cliff, by Polinife.
I n s p i r a t i o n :
What I am going to say here is probably the most personal thing ever I am going to admit or say to anyone, in fact, I had never shared this even with the closest people in my life, and I really don’t know what elated me to share it here, perhaps I don’t really care if anyone would read about it and what would the reader think about me afterwards, apart from labeling me as insane.
For many years now, I have had this weird fantasy… Not sure if it’s actually a “fantasy”, as we tend to associate the word with a more pleasant meaning, but let’s name it fantasy until I find a more suitable word. The fantasy is about standing on a very high cliff together with the man I love (no one in particular, just in terms of “man I love”), someone with who we really, REALLY love each other. And then, looking in the man’s eyes, I’d take a step back, approach the edge and… my feet will slide, but I’d be falling with my face to the sky, tensely watching the edge of the cliff, where the man I love stands. All I want to see is — will he jump after me..? Knowing these are the very last seconds we see each other in this life… The very last time we look each other in the eyes, will he spend with me this shortest moment before the dark eternity..? Will he jump and dive INTO the infinity with me?
Writing this brings tears in my eyes, because I know the answer is “No”. Whoever I try to picture in this role, will never do it, or at least not ‘for’ me or ‘with’ me. Crazy, I know. More like aggressively extreme and disparately powerful, maybe. I don’t say I am planning to ever carry this fantasy out, let alone destroy my or someone else’s life, but we all have our little dark fantasies, don’t we? Most of the times they are even too sick to talk about, which is why no one does and it creates the false illusion as if no one ever thinks about anything abnormal, beyond limits.
SO this is the muse, motif and impulse behind the artwork. On the image, I did not put any guy though. The reason is, I simply don’t know how to portray him… trying to catch me? Just watching? Stepping back? Reaching out..? This is why I decided to stick to woman’s domination and leave the man “out of the picture”, haha! Overall, I can’t even say I love the final result, I never really like my art anyway; as being a damn conscientious perfectionist, I always see I failed to reach impeccability, though the process of working on it and experimenting was worth it. Hope you enjoyed the artwork and did not get too depressed from your short visit into the castle of my dismal imagination…
Cheers! 
September 13th, 2007 at 11:15 am
I found this under Goth Culture tag and at first was unimpressed by he art itself, but when I read your inspirational background I must confess, it got to me.
You are a brave girl if you have the courage to share your \”dark fantasies\”, not many indeed do.