Love Blog - Men & Women’s Life After Eden

This is a great tutorial for cuddling in bed. I find it rather amusing as it connects to my previous post about the sleeping doves, but even if you have been sleeping with your spouse for many years now, I am pretty sure you will find this video tutorial to be rather cute.

VideoJug: How To Avoid Trapped Arm Whilst Cuddling In Bed

Let’s face the obvious fact that most people, at some point in their life, make sacrifices in one way or another in or for the sake of the relationship. It’s natural, when people from different families, backgrounds, interest-fields come together, they need to adjust and from time to time, one has to give up and sacrifice something, but… Some people do not realize that this is a natural long term relationship process and especially emphasize every step they took, which they consider, and want to be considered as a sacrifice.

There are two basic types of sacrifices, and the idea is that the willingness and readiness to make a sacrifice for your beloved — shows you’ve passed the first stage of your relationship and is ready for a long term, serious tie, which will “require” something from your side. In theory, sacrifice is linked to commitment, because of the reason explained above.

Feminists, however, have a theory of their own, and their views on the subject are rather different, and I must say, non-acceptable by many men and woman, for obvious reasons. They point that women feel they have to make greater sacrifices than men to maintain their relationship. In this case we can say that sacrifice is associated with depression, rather than with commitment or any other possitive emotion. In other words, according to first theory, people sacrifice because they want and feel ready and glad to do it, while the second theory indicates you HAVE to sacrifice, if you are a female, in order to keep up with your existing relationship and not to lose it.

It’s important to remember that it’s not the sacrifice itself that plays a big role, but the way both individuals in a relationship see this sacrifice. Does your partner gives in and sacrifies because he or she wants to, or because he feels obliged, or because s/he does not want to lose you? Either way, making sacrifices in a relationship is our free choice, and unless we were asked for it, and really unwillingly did it, there is no reason to poke our partner’s nose into our own sacrificial actions.

For instance, if you chose to relocate because of your new partner, it’s still and all YOUR choice. Moreover, your free choice. You cannot blame your partner for being important enough and dear enough, as a result you could not bear a mere thought of separation and choose to relocate, which resulted in more losses than you could foresee.

I always say that being a “victim” is our free choice.

Conclusion? If you make a sacrifice (and you DO make it out free will, weather you realize it or not), do not turn it to a traditional theme for discussion every dinner, it won’t do any good to your relationship and moreover, milling over it does not make it any bigger.

Look at this vintage lady enjoying herself, unable to concentrate and… oh well, just watch yourself!

All women and young pair know that having a baby can be expensive, which is why I decided to tell you about Maternity Care. If you are already pregnant and need Prenatal Care, maternity health insurance can often be difficult if not impossible to obtain or simply unaffordable.  In most countries such insurances cost a great deal of money and if we assume that  most pregnant girls are either young in a newly started family, or single, coving these expenses is only possible if you come from a very rich family. MaternityCard can help you make the best decision about how to handle the costs of having a baby and practically helps you through the process so you can focus on your child instead of the financial difficulties it may drag.

When expecting a baby it’s important to have a comprehensive maternity service package for every possible case. At Maternity Card, experts can help you chose the right plan of card, which will fit perfectly with your specific needs. This is especially recommended to get for anyone who knows expenses might be an issue when having a baby, so you can set your mind at ease and just concentrate all the efforts around the kid.

Following the popularity of the Dating a Geek, does it have an upside? post, I decided to expand the discussion and make a post on why should you not date a cool guy. You know, that one in leather jeans, on a motorbike, that all the girls in the neighborhood are crazy about. So let’s see what disadvantages they have and why should you choose a geeky boy over an Alpha Male.

1. Little variety. If you decide to go for a popular guy, unless he has some hidden complexes, he would probably be taken. Good products get sold out fast, and the supply is small. Filter all the gays, junkies, alcoholics and you are left with a very few worthy candidates, only just imagine the competition…
2. High maintenance. Maintenance of a cool boy in your house is a pain. While a geek would be grateful for pizza (no need to unfreeze) or some cookies (could be dogs’ cookie too), a “cool boy”, who sure had dozens of girls cooking for him before you, trying to impress, won’t be easy to please.
3. Pimping yourself for them is annoying. Again, remember the competition-factor and relatively low cool guys’ IQ. They want you because of your long legs and good shape, they are rarely after a big mama without make up, because they still need to brag with their baby-girl near their friends. Geeks won’t mind you without makeup or in walking around in a 20-years-old shirt, because… they won’t look at you anyway, they look at their monitors!
4. Poor Lovers. Of course it’s NOT always true, but… A cool guy would have a huge ego (thanks to his previous 100 girlfriends who were faking) and sometimes, as a result of this overweight ego — poor performance. After all, he is HE, that should be enough for satisfaction already, right? They wouldn’t spend time reading about sexology (no time or need for that), while geeks would study through and through all the possible and impossible online resources about “hot to satisfy a girl”, learn it all by heart and would try 10 times harder, knowing how easily can they be replaced.
5. Little usefulness at home. What can a “cool guy” do at home? Put an apron on his leather clothes and cook? Such guys also rarely have a decent high paying job or any cute little hobbies, so basically in his free time he will drink beer watching TV. That is, when he is not out with his buddies catching girls… Great, huh?
6. Dozens of jerk friends. Cool guys have cool buddies. These cool buddies can annoy the hell out of you when they drop for a visit in the evening, leave mess, make noise, tell stupid shovenist jokes and above all, bring their sexy girlfriends over and make your boyfriend droll over them. Geeks won’t have friends that make noise, let alone those who would bring over hot girls with them.
7. Parents won’t approve. If the guy is really, but I mean REALLY “cool”, the chances your parents are going to love him are slim. Due the obvious reasons — they are probably polygamists, they are careless, they don’t have a decent job or income, they drink, smoke, ride a motorbike and so on. They (the machos) won’t even try to impress your parents, because basically they won’t really give a damn. Even if parents won’t like him, you will still be threatening to jump off the window if they won’t let you see him. Geeks, on the other hand, are often “mommy’s boys”, attentive and, due to their neglected status — will crawl out of their skin to impress and not to disappoint. Exactly what your old folks are after.

Having said that, women are attracted to bad boys by nature and all the reasons listed above, nor any other reason in the world would stop a girl if she is in love…

While there are a few urban legends about boys and girls who met in kinder garden, became friends, held hands until the age of 18, got married and lived happily ever after, — in reality, it’s mostly different. People meet, come together, experiment, see if the new partner meets their needs, then switch partners, experiment some more, until they think they find the right one who gives them what they need and fills in all the holes in their heart. We only get married once (well, maybe 2-3), but before that we get into dozens of relationships, face different personalities, explore difficulties and differences. Here are 5 signs that the relationship is going downhills, and is heading to its tragic end.

1. Stereotype labeling. When we first meet the person, we have stereotypes in our minds that help us to “classify” the person. Once we are in a relationship — these stereotypes tend to vanish and we develop a strong vision of who we are dating — it’s a personality on its own, not a “sort of guy / girl that…”. When feelings fade, we get back to this stereotypic vision, especially when something irritates us, and once feelings are (almost) dead — there will always be something to piss us off. If you notice that after a long and cosy relationship your partner started to think of you in a stereotypic manner, classifying you, especially if the classification misses the target — it’s an obvious sign that either your partner has someone new and in comparison you are losing score, or he / she just got tired of you and you are turning to a burden.
2. Lack of Support. When we are blindly in love, we are ready to do anything for the person we love. When we are rationally loving our partner for certain qualities, we will still do anything for him or her, because we enjoy supporting and showing love to those we care about. Like in the previous paragraph, when love is dying, the object of our yesterday’s desire turns to a bothersome burden and we seek to get rid of it under this pretext or another. Obviously, sacrificing our precious time to support and care of someone we don’t want in our life anymore would not fit in the plans.
3. Small problems drag big scandals. This a very good sign of strong dissatisfaction in a relationship, — when one is starting with a comment about a regular, everyday problem, and end up in a discussion (on a raised tone) about the downsides, downfalls and disadvantages of each other. Either we start blaming our partner for these small everyday problems (no milk ‘cos you didn’t buy, dirty floor ‘cos you didn’t clean, can’t work cos you have a full-volume TV on, etc), or we unintentionally use these problems as a start-up platform for a bigger fight in which we can finally let go of all the bitterness and negativity, saying what we really think and what doesn’t suit us. As I said, people do it sub-consciously and are not aware of WHY they start, which is why it’s a “good” objective sign that something goes wrong and the relationship is heading to a trash can.
4. Sudden Raise of Standards. Another sequence of thought that starts going though our minds without our awareness, once the love is fading and giving space to rational mind. When your boyfriend met you, he loved you as you are and didn’t mind the few extra kilograms around your waist, but suddenly he doesn’t hesitate to point at Halle Berry as the ideal girl and of course he wouldn’t settle on anything less. When you met your girlfriend she did not mind your minimum wage salary, but now it’s somewhat a problem, it’s not enough for what she wants and you’re doubtlessly not what she could wish for in life. In other words — “suddenly”, you are not good enough and keep failing, disappointing and irritating with your habits, qualities, family and everything that comes in tow.
5. Avoiding each other’s company. When we get sick of our parter, the last thing we want is to spend time in his or her presence. We don’t enjoy it, we only face fights, and basically, we just don’t have the urge to run and spend every second of our life with him or her anymore. This is where miscellaneous pretexts start; getting late from work, various duties elsewhere that cannot be delayed, more work, more time with friends, and so on. People sometimes even unintentionally seek a “good” and “natural” reason to spend their time somewhere without the current partner’s presence.

So, these are, I think, 5 most obvious and significant factors that can undeniably indicate loss of interest in a relationship with you. If you notice that your long-term partner is showing sign of one or more of the indicators listed above, it’s safe to say you are no longer the center of his attention… Basically, if he or she only came to the point that they remind themselves the bad things that happened to you two and deny the existence of the good times you had together, it’s time to move on.

We all, especially women, know that if you were born with pigmented skin, it’s very important to find the right skin care which will suit your skin’s needs and won’t cause any unwanted damage to the skin. Pigmented skin is very sensitive, and therefore I want to introduce you to ORIKI Cosmeceuticals, who have have developed a several products for women with what we call Asian, Mediterranean and other “Olive” skin types. All the products I am going to talk about, were developed by an American Board Certified Dermatologist and Biochemist

Women with AMO skin types (Olive, Asian etc) should be aware of the fact that pigmented skin has an inherent tendency to show particular (and visible) reaction, that is different from those you can see on women with white skin type. Moreover, these women (AMO type) respond differently to different outward factors, for instance the UV lights and other aspects that can damage the skin’s natural structure. This include acne, which leave a darker scar, compared to white-skin-type women, who normally do not suffer from “scars” left after acne. So bottom line is, pigmentation can have quite a few downsides and requires more care and attention, compared to so-to-speak regular white skin.

Another factor about pigmentation problem, is that once it’s been developed, it will take longer to resolve and require a lot of extra treatment, dragging you into more expenses and intensive care, not to mention that inappropriate skin care can aggravate this pigmentation on your skin. This is why you should not wait until the problem pops up or gets worse and take care of your skin before its too late, since it’s not even expensive, you can purchase products kits online for a cheaper price than normally one nourishing cream would cost you.

While on the surface there are not many reasons to date a geek, in practice, life shows they do have some advantages of their own. Sure you won’t date that smart-ass with glasses in high school, making a total laughter out of yourself, but then with years when you won’t be bound to a strict social cycle where “cool” and “hot” are the only parameter, you’d see that having a relationship with a class’ nerd could be not as bad as it seems at first.

1. He is smart. Geeks are smart, that is for sure. They would probably know everything about anything, and this can come handy.

2. He will probably be single. Unless you are trying to hook a well knowing programmer from Microsoft, you are unlikely to need to “fight” for this guy, he will be single, and moreover, very eager to get in a relationship. In most cases, regardless how you look.

3. No competition. I can’t imagine two women pulling each other’s hair off or wrestling in a mud over some innocently looking nerd. I can’t even imagine someone “stealing” a geek. What for? This means you can rest assured he will run after you fully faithful, and most likely won’t come on to other women, as geeks tend to have very low self esteem and confidence below zero when it comes to girls.

4. They can fix broken things. Being smart and know-all means he can repair any broken computer, TV, video, and other things that are in his competency. Anything that does not require hard physical labour would most likely be in their power.

5. Your parents will approve. We, women, like bad boys, but we also know that this choice never gets a ‘carte blanche’ from parents. Mothers prefer to see a quiet type guy, who will become a loving spouse holding their daughter’s hand and never will release. Geeks pretty much fall in this category. They will aspire to marry without playing any games, and they are going to be exactly that type of quiet and semi-visible husband you need, if you don’t want to waste your nerves on fights and jealousy.

Having said that, unfortunately, now that you got all eager to find yourself a nice little geek for family reproduction, I must bring you down, there are quite a few DISadvantages as well. While all of the above means he is perfect for you, the question is, are you ideal for him? So lets see the downsides:

1. You could seem stupid to him. Yeah, never mind how smart you actually are, he is probably smarter, or at least he is sure he should be. You might not be able to keep up with a fascinating conversation about the beauty of microbes under microscope… Sad, huh?

2. His parents won’t be happy. Geeks, just like other humans, come in a package with all the annoying relatives. These relatives, just like yours, could want to see a quite loving girl holding their son’s hand, not the promiscuous you, who already kissed before!

3. Oh, where to find a geek? You did not think about it, did you? Geeks lurk, remember it. They don’t walk on the street, they don’t go to bars and surely they don’t spend nights out at disco parties. They don’t dance, they don’t drink (need clear mind to work), they don’t socialize (waste of time) and they don’t come on to girls. They are mostly located behind their computers at home, so accidental face to face meeting somewhere is a real luck.

4. They are useless. Yep, they can repair a computer, but they will never clean, do dishes, or cook. As been almost a hardware part of their computers, they tend to ignore mess or the outer world in general, and probably live on junk food, since its the easiest and fastest solution to maintain their existence.

So, it’s up to you if dating a geek is worth the effort or not. However, I’d say 80% of the effort will be wasted on finding a geek in the first place, unless you are into online dating. Once you found him, and you are confident enough to make the first 1000 steps yourself, he is yours!

Let’s face the sad fact and admit that life isn’t fair at all when it comes to opposite sexes. While men at their 30’s are still blooming and are open for offers, women around their 30’s and after this age quickly get downgraded in men’s eyes.

Let’s say you have devoted all of your 20’s to getting your career off the ground. Not that you haven’t been dating at all… of course you have, and had a great time, but not with serious intentions, since developing your life was more important and in some cases even essential. Now here you are, turning 30 and no long-term relationship on the horizon, but you can practically hear your biological clock ticking… It could make you nervous, but in essence, you have only a few priceless years to find a man to fall in love with, make him fall in love with you, get him to marry you, and have a baby or its lights out. Why only a few years? Because if you are single at your 38, you’re practically dead for most men at their 38. Sweet, is it not? But, that is life to you. Some guys would assume that if you are STILL single, something must be wrong with you, while others, when they are approaching their 40’s and are still unmarried, switch orientation to younger women, after all, they are only 38, would be a shame to waste the best years of their life on some 37-years-old granny, right? Either way, being single after 30’s — sucks.

When girl at this age realizes all of the above it either pushes her into a depression, or she goes wild hunting men and as a result scares them even more away. Presuming you’re already familiar with all of the men in your social circle, and none of them shows great interest, or not a good enough candidate, or just scares you off, what can you do?

Best is, to consider online dating.

You have the opportunity to read hundreds of profiles and look at hundreds of pictures in search of that “someone” that will be right for you. You aren’t limited to only those men that you come in contact with personally. The possibilities are almost endless, and while being cautious (it’s important!) as to who you are going to meet, you can find someone with similar tastes, hobbies and goals in life. Don’t forget that you need not be limited to Internet, there are many other alternatives such as mobile dating where you can meet new people and get in touch with someone new even when you sit bored in a metro on your way to work.

“Isn’t online dating consists of perverts, sexual predators and weirdos in assorted shapes and sizes?”

Well… while I’d not say anything about assorted shapes and sizes, not everyone who seeks a life partner online is a pervert. Not anymore anyway. That was true when online dating first came on the scene but now it is mainstream, and many business people who simply have no time to go to bars and hunt girls, avail of the facility to find a soul mate online. Use caution that you would use when meeting any stranger, as meeting someone on the street does not guarantee he won’t turn out to be married, pervert or god-knows what.

Never give your real name, address or phone number or other details until you feel safe doing so. Don’t rush into a face-to-face meeting until you are confident and then make the first meeting in a public place and during daylight hours. Still and all, give it a try… Man of your dreams could be just a few mouse-clicks away.

I must say I was totally amazed by the amount of readers this blog gathers and want to use this opportunity to thank everyone for the kind comments and emails. One guy emailed me a couple of days ago and asked if I was planning to cover the ever-awe-aspiring “faking” subject and how a man can avoid facing it. Much as I was itchy to say “be good in bed and it will come”, I decided to touch this subject in this blog and hope it will be insightful for some of you to read.

Honestly, I am against faking though not for the moral reason. Faking an unearthly climax would boost your man’s ego tremendously, and that should be avoided! Sounds terrible, is it not? I see little point in letting your man feel that you get to 7th heaven when he just takes his shirt off. It takes more, and any women knows it, yet if he has more ego then experience, this is good timing to re-educate him a little.

• So, WHY women fake?

1. Because it “HAS” to happen. Because men expect them to climax and they don’t want to fail him. That’s pretty much a basic reason. After all, if we strip all the emotional intentions, we go to bed with only one purpose, and when there is no climax to either of the sides, BOTH end up disappointed, one physically (because he / she didn’t enjoy), and the other — emotionally (because he / she feels was not good enough and failed to satisfy). While it’s basically true – yes, it “has” to happen, it is not what happens in reality. Women know guys watch adult movies where girls have multiple orgasms, and assume they would compare it to real life. Women knows guys except it to happen and don’t want to appear frigid, less good then previous partners or just “cold” and not fun.

2. “Darling, I love you so much, of course I enjoyed!” Another good reason to fake. You love your boyfriend, you can tell he was trying hard but it just doesn’t happen and letting him know you hardly enjoyed would hurt his feelings, so to avoid it you will make a small play and everyone would be happy. Also, it’s important to remember that most men’s biggest concern before they go to bed with a girl is “will she have an orgasm with me?”, and if she won’t, they will think they failed. Since women are aware of that, they don’t want the partner they care about to think of himself as of a failure.

3. “Oh my god, it was so amazing! …can I go watch my soap opera now?”. Lastly, we all know that it won’t end until the girl sings, so sometimes it could be a good way to speed up the process, especially if the girl was not very eager to go for it first place. Various reasons such as alcohol, drugs, medicines, tiredness and other reasons could slow down or even prevent the great climax, and if the girl has some other (and more important) things on her mind yet still wants to keep her boyfriend happy, she will “sing” her aria asap and get back to what she wanted to.

• For men: How to avoid triggering her to fake?

1. “Hmm.. Still NO???” Okay, don’t ask this question. Stop inquiring every few minutes asking if it has finally goddarm happened. If you have been dating for a while, you would learn to tell if it happened or not by hear reactions, breath tempo, heartbeats etc…Asking about it would make her nervous, make her feel that she is failing you, you are so good and she is not appreciating it, it all takes too long, maybe previous partners of yours would have climaxed 10 times by now and she can’t even once… Girls’ solution? Let’s fake it!

2. “Gotcha! That was faked!!!” Well done, you found out. But, that is yet another sentenced you should not say. Let’s assume she faked and it was rather obvious, you will frown and let her know how displeased you are. And what? This sure won’t cause more pleasure, she will get more tensed next time, either trying to improve the faking techniques (and that is unwanted, right?) or it would make her even more uncomfortable next time. It will NOT help her to relax and try to reach the climax. I am not saying that you should encourage her to continue lying, but let her known in a very subtle way that you will do anything to please her, next time. She should be confident that you won’t chop her head off if she ever fakes it here and there.

3. “No darling, I do it ‘cos I enjoy it!”. This is a very blatant flattery; however, in theory 99% women would swallow it, and in practice — 100% will. Performing cunningilus on a girl and saying you don’t do it waiting for her to fiiiiiiinally climax, but because of you actually enjoy it yourself, will triple her pleasure and allow her to relax.

• For women: Some good reasons not to fake

1. First of all, there is nothing wrong with being hard to please. If you have a relationship based on mutual love you should not feel “uncomfortable” letting him know you need this or that, or it has to last longer or whatever else YOU need for it. If you ask for something in bed, the chances to get a “no” from a man are very slim (men could only dream it was same way for them!), so you should not be ashamed of your needs. He will be happy to learn how to please a girl he loves, believe me. Woman should demand her orgasm and teach her partner how to cause it, instead of faking it. Contrary to the common belief, his heart will not break if it won’t happen. In fact, you will trigger his hunter’s instinct and make him try harder and harder next time, unless of course you demoralized him totally.

2. By faking, you train him to do the wrong thing. If you faked, the guy will think “Oh, now I know what to do to please her!”, and this won’t be true. If you plan a long term relationship and teaching him to do what you in fact do not like, he will have no reason to try anything else hoping to please you, because he already knows what “works” on you.

To sum it up, we all know that there is nothing like the REAL pleasure in bed, and faking it, makes partners happy only on the surface, and can even cause problems on the long run. Is your relationship worth taking this risk? After all, faking is just lying to the man you love…